What characterises resilient people? Why are you stressed or feeling burned out? There are some characteristics which resilient people live that you might have to learn. It will not work with a click, but with patience and practice you will be able to become a resilient person.
Sense of Control
Do you have the feeling that you have control over you life? Do you think others or circumstances are to blame for your personal situation? Do you seek the guilt in others not the trouble in you own behaviour? Resilient people always have a locus of control even in situations they are not fully in control of. People who are resilient control their destiny even if they are not able to control their surrounding completely. Many situations we face and in which we feel stressed are not controlled by us. The opportunity every situation offers us is that we think positive and focus on the things we can control.
A realistic view towards our life and knowing that you have a locus of control in every situation of our life will make you a person of empowerment. If you know you are not born as a gifted person in this sense you might find it helpful to realise that you always have a choice to make. You can leave a situation as it is or you will be able to choose to change the situation in which you live. Of course making a choice will always bring changes and will ask for bravery on your side, because it means you will leave a beaten truck that you felt comfortable with.
To screw you problem-solving skills will help you to improve your ability to act resilient. Work on your skills to improve your problem-solving solutions, because it will enable you to know a solution when a crisis pops up and will help you not to develop a tunnel vision. The more excited you get in a crises the higher the chance that you develop a tunnel vision in which you will have difficulty to develop the creativity it needs to solve the stressful situation. Resilient people are looking at the situation from a meta-level that allows them to look calmly and rationally on the situation and to envision a scenario of possibilities to solve this crisis.
When you are confronted with a crisis or a severe problem a large network of contacts will provide you the assistance you need to solve the challenge you face, because your network will provide people who have solved this challenge already or can tell you how they handled a similar situation. With their help you gain new perspectives, find new possible solutions or your friends will just back you with their encouragement or listen to your mournings.
Ask for help
Do not be too proud to ask for help. Asking for help will enable you to find new ways to handle the crisis occurred. It does not mean that you are weak, it means that you are searching for the best solution. You are getting self-efficient. You start to act as a resilient person.
Be a Survivor, not a Victim
And this brings me to a very important attitude towards resilience. Resilient people are no victims, they are survivors, people who know how to handle tricky situations, challenges and lots more. They will never give up and search for solutions as long as the problem exists. When it is solved they turn towards the next challenge which has to be solved.
Of course resilient people are no machines and they mourn as every person in the world, but the great difference is that resilient people will not bust their head in the sand and stay there, but get up again and walk on their path.
To be a person that acts will make you a much happier than sticking your hand in the sand and not getting up anymore because you will feel more self-efficient and it will give you sense of control.
If stress is a subject for you, I am able to counsel you on your subject. Before we will work together, you may book a free counselling interview in which we get to know each other.